and the U turn again ?

Recently, I had a spat with my mom - yeah...a very very rare incident. That too only because she touched the most sensitive chord in me - my farm life.

She still cannot understand totally -why should one quit job and take up farming in some remote village ? Why should one leave the comforts of city and live in discomforts and dangers of wild ? Why should one do farming, toil in sun,get dirty in mud - when you can simply work on keyboard and earn lots !?

Perhaps, rightly so ! My decision does defies normal logic and thinking which is why I have more critics than supporters.

But it's been more than 3 years that I've been living at farm and doing whatever little farming I can, still I have to answer the same questions.

So- that day I just lost it and shouted back on mom. It made me cry. It made me so sad - the whole discussion and incident. I don't think I've been so stressed, upset in years.

I know, I can't blame my mom for her stand. It's I - who is doing strange things, how can I blame world for considering me "mad" ? I can't be making her sad, making myself sad.

They are upset about me quitting a good job and doing farming.
That too a farming that's not immediately earn millions !
Live in village that's far remote and full of wilderness.


I must find a solution to the situation.

Is that solution - a U-turn ? meaning..I go back to job or city life ? which will make me one amongst  all - and thus reduce my constant conflict with my family and society at large.

It would mean compromising on some of the principles that I started walking on - but then it does have it's own merits.

What matters most - perhaps, is that "I" and "people around me" are happy and not involved in constant conflict or debates over the same topics for years.

Anyway...I know that's not the only solution -there could be many more ways to handle this situation...so I'll keep working on them but yeah...i am also looking now for some interesting opportunity in finland. ;-)