Fear Or Love ?

I am unable to define whether I am in love or in fear with life.
Why is that I can not slap the other without thinking when having a quarrel ?
What is that even if someone behaves irresponsibly to my girl friend or my friend I do not react unless its highly provocative ?

I feel the fear of fights and of violence.
and i also feel helpless because I don know what's right and what's wrong.

Why is that I try to avoid any situation that might lead to violence instead of facing it ?
Why is that many people I have seen do not think twice before indulging into a fight ?
Am i a coward and others brave ?

Then there is other side to this fear of mine, the love side - the non-voilence side.

I believe in non-violence ! ( I do or is it a way to hide my fear of voilence ?)
I feel for the other person as well and understand that he is also a human being full of angst and misery. ( Is this also a way just to avoid facing my fear of voilence ? )
When some one else behaves in a wrong way to my friend, I just think that he is behaving this way because he is sick or not in right state of mind. I can not react because I know I could have done the same thing as well if I was in his place.

I remain confused with so many things in my life - whether is love or is a hidden fear ?

When I try to maintain good relationships with all people and the people in power - is it that I am a good man or is it a fear to go against power and people ?

I think its fear ! I also think that its certain intelligence in me which introduces this fear - for no fight is worth a drop of blood.

I just wish that people in this world behave responsibly , intelligently and instead of wasting life in creating an insecure society - work towards creating a society that is a symbol of peace and harmony. ( Is this a wish - or fear of insecure society ? )