Mind - Fucked

We live our lives. We pass our days. We are engrossed in the world around us and we think that's all that exists.


I was the same, I am still the same, but when I attended ISPP program at Pune conducted by CCS. They exposed me to so many things, that I started hating myself. My life suddenly appeared to be so petty.

When they showed the other side of so called Modern India, the slums, the financial struggle at lower strata, the poverty, the lack of freedom in NE.

When I went to Budhwarpeth to talk to sex workers about their problems, I was stunned to see the cruel reality.

The result has been that I am completely mind fucked.

But what further fucks my mind is that - SO WHAT ? NOW WHAT ?
It happens so often that we get touched by a movie, a documentary, an article, a real life misery, a person .... but very soon - it all fades away.

Now that I know that ITPA ( Immoral trafficking protection act of India) is flawed.
Now that I know that life is miserable in most of India.
Now that I know how am I so selfish.

Now what am I gonna do ? Just write this blog in frustration ?

It also throws another question at me - " Why do I feel miserable for misery of others ?" Can't I live my life happily ? Is that bad ?

Is this also a conditioning of society that I am feeling sad for the poor ?


I feel impotent.
I feel so helpless.

Where to begin, what to do ? What not to do ?

The answer lies here and now, I am doing nothing.
I am still googling and learning about useless stuffs about useless things.

That's pathetic me.

The power of One

Recently we had Mr. Abhijit Dutt as our professor for social communications and he did an age old exercise.

He asked us to go and meet a person in the lobby who can change the world. I was too excited to meet this person, who could it be ?
Some thoughts came to me were - beggar ? Politician ? a common man ? teacher ?

Finally he asked me to go to the lobby and there I found this person named Shashi.
Yes, there was no one but a mirror to show my own face as the one who can change the world.

I knew this exercise through some forward email threads I received years back but here I was actually doing it.

Later he stressed on "The power of ONE". How can even a single person change the world forever.
Many have done it, why can't I ?

At first, I laughed at myself, and monologued "Abe tu karega duniya change? " Chup chap beth ja !!

But then I started thinking, why not ?
Who is stopping me except my own belief that I can not.

Well, I think there is immense power in ONE !!!
But the point is , its not about just thinking but living it, doing it.

A solution to Terrorism ?

I've lived in Hyderabad, Mumbai and Ahmedabad. I loved all these cities and all of these have been recently under terror attacks.

I wonder every time I hear a person is killed by a terrorist attack, what is the solution to Terrorism ?

better technology ? No - it is always vulnerable because terrorist can also be a tech savvy.

more security ? - expensive and inefficient solution, can be suffocating for locals.

A compromise with terrorist ? - Something out of question looking at current scenario.

Then what ?

I think - the root to terrorism is 99 % religion and 1% land.

Land issues can be diplomatically handled.

The one that needs to be really taken care is religion conflicts.
The only answer to terrorism is just stop taking care of religion.

Let us create a no-religion world. We do not follow any religion.
We shun everything. Hard to do. Very hard infact, but then we need to ask ourselves what is religion and what good has it done to us.

Did any god create religion ? no.
relgions crops after the gods or prophets are gone.
It is man made.

Let us destroy it. Religion has given us nothing but differences and wars.

Imagine, will a terrorist group attack a country where nobody knows what is their religion ?

I doubt.

There will be disolution of terrorism with disolution of religion.

"What about good things in our relgion ? "
First of all, there are only few good things and these can be rather become part of study of sociology or science, where we question the beliefs and theories of religion to arrive at most logical conclusion.

It sounds tough, but I think religion needs to disappear from earth otherwise soon we human might.

The "Who am I ?" BullShit

I am Shashi Bhushan Singh, Hindu - Indian by birth.
Rajput.
I value family values, consider pre marital sex as fine.
I think being gay is ok. I believe that honesty and being true is very important.
I love breaking rules. I am anti-voilence and hate corruption and hypocrisy.
I think woman should be given equal rights.

Imagine so called shashi was shipped to Another location X when he was 1.

I am Akura
I believe pre marital sex is bad, I think mission my life is to serve others in my religion. Being gay is sin. telling lies is perfectly fine.
Woman should cook and stay at home and rules are to be strictly followed.

The question comes then - " Who am I ? " what is real me ?
irrespective of my education, conditioning and socio- religious affects ?

Conspiracy named "Education"

Ever questioned the well established education system of the world ?
The grading system ? the exams ? the way of teaching ?

I feel that education system is a conspiracy against individuals to reduce them to commodities.

We are trained in a particular way, we are then evaluated and sold.

Delhi police got 40 dogs - Alsesians. Initially they were all untamed.
A training was given to each one of them, anyone who violated the regular course was punished.

They commanded on what to do and how to do. Then they rated them and found top few and used them for various operations.

Do you identify yourself with these dogs ?

I think our education system should be modified to produce individuals not robots.
I think we should not be evaluated against others.
I think two individuals should not be compared by any education system.

I think we need to bring in a better education system where individuals are respected for what they are.

Aren't our most of the teachers like Hitler ?
They dictate over us and if we do not please them, our grades suffer.

Our lives are in the hands of these dictators.

I am not against teachers, I am against the power play between a teacher and student.

I feel a relationship of love and understanding should be placed in place of this dictatorship.

I am beginning to think....

The last puff

Osho said somewhere - "The only proof of youth is rebellion".
I read it and forgot it very next moment as some "philosophical quote".

In today's class of Prof A.F.Mathew , we saw few movies on 9/11 and it was followed by some piercing questions of Prof Mathew.

"You make faces to see these movies on 9/11 but you are the only people who clap when a film like Border is made depicting fascist view of nationalism." - he said.

"Animal is what wars reduce man to " he added.

The whole environment was so rebellious that I was deeply moved and asked myself " What am I really doing with my life ? "

"Is having sex, smoking, drinking - the only proof of youth ?"

"Where is the world heading ? " and "What am I contributing to this ? "

Suddenly, came another thought - " But I can't make a difference to this world - I am just an individual. "

But then, Mahatma Gandhi was just one person, M. Luther king was just one man and so were so many other people who changed the face of world forever.

Can't I do it ?

" What shall I do then ? " - I asked myself while taking puffs outside my college gate.

I began with quitting smoking. I took one last puff and said good bye.

This might be the beginning of rebellion, isn't it ?

Truly speaking, I don't care !!! All I know that I am just going to live life on my conditions irrespective of the society, system or self created bondages because this is what rebellion mean to me and this is what makes me feel young.

Prof Mathew's flame touched me, I write this here with hope that it might touch somebody else.

I am beginning to think again.

The Logic of Gray

Most people live life in black and white. We believe that something is either right or wrong.
Some person can either be good or bad.

I think and I feel that life should be lived on the logic of gray .i.e the possiblity for everything to be in center.

Let me put forward an analogy - the guitar. the music can't be played when the strings are either too tight or too loose. They need to be somewhere in the middle to sound harmonious.

I think we should start thinking about things in this way. May be terrorism is not all that bad, may be religion is not all that good, may be the person you hate is not really rude, may be what you believe in is not completely true.

I am highly impressed by Edward de bono's invention of word "PO" which precisely describes the logic of gray. PO is a substitute for YES and NO. Not every question can be answered by a YES or a NO - use PO !!!

Do you find the logic of gray valid ?
Say - "PO"

Garba Khelo ???

DISCLAIMER :
No personal feelings please and with due respect to all garba lovers.
No harm intented to religious sentiments.

I moved to Ahmedabad just one month before Tatas decided to move to Ahmedabad ;) - a truly amazing city for sure, but this city two serious problems , first it comes in dry state - so hard time boozing, second this is the land of GARBA - the traditional Gujarati dance performed especially during the the festival before dussera - Nau Durga. It was my first garba season here and I've some tonic for you -

1.) Every body says Garba khelo (meaning - play) , now can you tell me - how do we play a dance ?

2.) After doing garba, here is my definition :-
" It is an activity where people form circle or ellipse and rotate while clapping in a weird fashion and everybody thinks that we are dancing. "
I went to all the famous places in Ahmedabad and saw so many garbas - all I was reminded of Godhra riots - so much commotion - hardly any cultural relevance.

3.) Every Garba begins with prayer of Ma Durga and this dance is said to be performed for the goddess. I wonder if ever the goddess told mortal beings to "wear some sort of sexy back less dress for ladies and scare crow like dress for men and then dance whole night to make her happy."

The money and time spent on real festival of Ma durga is something like :-

Money on Garba : Money on Pooja :: 10000: 0.01
time doing garba : time doing pooja : : 9 hours : 6 mins

4.) Then this must be an interesting fact -
" The sale of condoms increases drastically during the garba season !!! "
check out google for real facts and figures, here is one such news from DNA :-

www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1195829

I am fascinated by the whole hyporcricy in our society but neways, now I understand why they call a dance - " Khelo" coz its actually a big play - a foreplay, may be.

I think I feel I

Do you think ?

Do you feel ?

Share all that you fell, think, understand about LIFE.

I'll do the same.