Certainly ! As I celebrate my 28th birthday tomorrow, I have to say that I am really on a spree.
Finally I seem to be living a life I always wanted with the void inside. Things have fallen in place. I've a job that I like, I have a woman that I love, I have a family that cares and friends who are fun. What else can one ask for ? But that deep longing of something ...still remains.
After a wonderful day full of love, laughter and fun - I still feel that "something is missing" or "incomplete" feeling when I sit under the sky and look at the stars.
Inspite of everything going in my favor - I still feel distant from reality. All the ideas in my head about finding myself, of world being a maya and all the rest of it are still so alive and I want to find out the truth. Reality is what I am seeking I guess.
But the contentment of living life on my own terms, living a life thats not controlled totally by others, by society is a wonderful feeling. Although I still linger and fantasize about that "ultimate freedom" that our saints and sages have talked about.
I learn a lot and enjoy a lot with kids. I get lot of time for myself and I am really very happy with the way thing are moving. I am , for the first time, really not thinking about long future. Living the moment is very close to becoming reality soon.
However I see that I am loosing touch with my spiritual self and a more worldly self is emerging. I like this evolution though and I am hoping that it would bring that intensity that is needed to live world so as to finally be free of it :-) ! Hence I am not pushing.
Flowing with the wind, like a white cloud. Enjoying the flow of river of life....it's just fantastic. And I'd ever be grateful to the existence for all that I've been, all that I've been through, all that is and all that was.
