I am learning that we all have tendencies - that makes who we are ! And they are damn difficult to change, we can call it intrinsic nature or pre-programmed deep rooted habits !
For instance, my tendency to take casual approach has become clearer to me with time. Any work, I take a very casual approach. To be meticulous or even partly so - is not my thing. It has it's consequences. It calls for me to change at time but i am just too rigid when it comes to these tendencies.
I may change - my weaker nature....habits which aren't too deep...I feel good by changing them...i consider myself flexible and a learner ...but the truth is what really needs to change...doesn't change. I may quit having tea or switch to green tea, I may start becoming more clear in my communication ...but I can do that only because they are not in contradiction to my tendencies.
When it comes to my tendencies, they are so dear to me. I will argue and if I am good at it, I will prove and convince to others that I am right and my way of doing things is justified. However, deep down..I know it's out of my immediate reach to change it anyway.
I must expand my reach, get really out of my comfort zone..but then you need to have something extraordinarily important at stake for one to change really deeply.
Anyway...my casual approach, my inability to face people, confront them with what I really feel and not be nice-nice pretentious, trying to please everyone, getting bored with things easily, looking for fame driven activities.....are just few of many such tendencies.
What strength would I need to change them ...to even recognise other hidden ones ?
