Puck Puck Puck ...Packaak....!!!

Multiple yippies this time buddy...

1. Devagya is here...a new member to our family..making me a father...
2. Today my father retires....a new life beginning for him too...

and ofcourse the puckaag....m down with chicken pox ! :-) 

It's been almost a week that I've been sick and as I avoid taking medicines, resting was my only respite ! So, resting , resting ....and my got thinking thinking...ofcourse sleepless and itchy nights...all made it spiced up...

nevertheless....i am sitting here...

I get everything that I want in  life ! That's been my living experience...i just need to imagine it...desire it and it soon comes my way...all the way from my Euro trip to recent collob with sanchi university...so much so.. that after getting collab with university for this lovely post after so much of hardwork and matha - fodi ...I was just starting to wish...damn...I wish this closes down so I have more time at farm and not have to rush like this...and there you go...project closed ! I wished in my heart...people with pain...disease have deep understanding in life...god gave me chicken pox ! Man ......no...God..I love you ! 

And yet I am a loser ! I still have no idea what I want in life...how to live life...what to do next....! All my principles are loosse...and go for toss soon ! 

I've seen so many paths and have doubts about them all....and yet not walked till the end in any.....at the end I am just a thinking...doubting...asshole ! lacking emotions...understanding ...values......depth !!

Funny Times !

Yeah ! These are funny times...for tough doesn't seem to be the right word for this moment. Something is brewing, something is changing. Infact a lot has changed slowly - just like the frog in heating water - I didn't realize how much I changed in last years ! Some for good, a lot for not so good - I guess....however I know that in future..it'll be all for good in the hindsight !

I was flowing - for I thought flowing with life virtous...now I realize the direction I've flown is not so great ...I must have made efforts to go in directions that mattered to me ! and What mattered to me ? It kept changing ...confusion is the word again but with a totally different meaning.

My inner voice has become feebler ....

Things are good and yet so bad. It's so bad because things appear good !

A deep change is at the horizon....I can sense it ...It is inevitable if I've to survive !

Blank....a deep Blank......May be I find answer in silence ?