I wonder how can one feel lonely inspite of being surrounded by people. I do. I feel extremely lonely in my journey right now. It's a strange feeling. People are around me but because they do not understand what I am doing or who I am, it really doesn't matter if they are around or not. Imagine you are surrounded by 100s of people who consider you someone else who you are not. They are mistaking you to be someone else and relate and engage with you thinking you to be that someone else ! You talk to them, laugh and spend hours but you will end up feeling extremely lonely. For the one who you really are is still looking for someone to talk to, relate to.
Sometimes I feel I've myself invited so many challenges in my life. I have put myself alone in middle of jungle and I've got no skills to live there ! It's like I am learning everything again and all that I know is of absolutely no use. The journey in itself is fun as long as I can keep "speed" out of it. But the pressure to earn money, get farm into it's standing, prove yourself keeps coming back once in a while and I succumb to it. Everything falls apart in a minute and all the strength that I've gathered over so many years withers away...
It requires many silent walks into the woods, hours of looking at the blue sky and stars, days of company of nature that I am able to get back my vigor and confidence.
Fuh ! I've done all this to fulfill some vague vision I hold inside and the only thing I keep reminding myself is not to loose that vision. I keep getting myself back to it. It does get very hazy at times but thanks to existence it has never left me completely. Oh ! there ...I can see it again.....
Sometimes I feel I've myself invited so many challenges in my life. I have put myself alone in middle of jungle and I've got no skills to live there ! It's like I am learning everything again and all that I know is of absolutely no use. The journey in itself is fun as long as I can keep "speed" out of it. But the pressure to earn money, get farm into it's standing, prove yourself keeps coming back once in a while and I succumb to it. Everything falls apart in a minute and all the strength that I've gathered over so many years withers away...
It requires many silent walks into the woods, hours of looking at the blue sky and stars, days of company of nature that I am able to get back my vigor and confidence.
Fuh ! I've done all this to fulfill some vague vision I hold inside and the only thing I keep reminding myself is not to loose that vision. I keep getting myself back to it. It does get very hazy at times but thanks to existence it has never left me completely. Oh ! there ...I can see it again.....
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