It's new year now ! New flowers are blooming at Sadhna Path and things are slowly gaining momentum. I am now facing reality closer. So far..the idea of alternative living or pursuing a spiritually driven social life was a lovely thought ! Here I am ....doing it and frankly its not what I imagined it to be.
I imagined it to be a cake walk, with lot of people looking upto me, with good support....media coverage and what not ! What it is ...is quite different...loneliness....unpredicatable challenges...dearth of support and encouragement ! Ofcourse....It has Joy in its share too....but the story needs rebooting !
What I imagined was simply an idea....now is reality. I imagined living in woods close to a mountain as heaven....it is not ...it can be ...but my sensitivity is same as old...so how can it be ?
But I am glad that now I am more real and whatever I am doing is now rooted in reality not in some thoughts. Now I realize what they meant that path less travelled is not all glamor and rosy !
My meditation is certainly deepening....my joys are definitely growing deeper. All the so called challenges in front of me are also perhaps an opportunity to capitalize.
I must work on my awareness and sensitivity, face the reality of being alone...accept it gracefully. I must learn not to blame people who left me alone but be grateful for their support in spirit. I must grow in compassion and love. I must find love. I must find reality. Things are on my side. Things are also against me. I must chose which way I should support more ! :-)
Just to live on my own condition and to be able to do all the crazy things I want to do...is ecstatic. Thanks God thanks...my parents and a lot many friends...who made it possible ! Heads ahead...whats next ! A deep breathe.
I imagined it to be a cake walk, with lot of people looking upto me, with good support....media coverage and what not ! What it is ...is quite different...loneliness....unpredicatable challenges...dearth of support and encouragement ! Ofcourse....It has Joy in its share too....but the story needs rebooting !
What I imagined was simply an idea....now is reality. I imagined living in woods close to a mountain as heaven....it is not ...it can be ...but my sensitivity is same as old...so how can it be ?
But I am glad that now I am more real and whatever I am doing is now rooted in reality not in some thoughts. Now I realize what they meant that path less travelled is not all glamor and rosy !
My meditation is certainly deepening....my joys are definitely growing deeper. All the so called challenges in front of me are also perhaps an opportunity to capitalize.
I must work on my awareness and sensitivity, face the reality of being alone...accept it gracefully. I must learn not to blame people who left me alone but be grateful for their support in spirit. I must grow in compassion and love. I must find love. I must find reality. Things are on my side. Things are also against me. I must chose which way I should support more ! :-)
Just to live on my own condition and to be able to do all the crazy things I want to do...is ecstatic. Thanks God thanks...my parents and a lot many friends...who made it possible ! Heads ahead...whats next ! A deep breathe.
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