I am turning 30 soon and I have still no clue about what I want to do in life especially how I want to do it and most importantly why I wish to do it ! This hurts ! This irritates, frustrates, furiates and saddens. This makes me restless and impatient. This makes me look stupid in front of other - almost all the the time in front of most of the people. Thank god, to me and to a selected few - it still feels ok !
For the first time in my life - I am feeling this immense panic - of doing something before I go crazy or waste my life ! I felt that strange suffocation of not being able to arrive so far ! not sure about how to live life ! be it as simple as to smoke or to not, to eat meat or to not ! There seems no internal ray to guide and external is just frustratingly confusing.
Hence, as my last resort and perhaps my last retreat - I am heading to himalayas -somewhere in a small village in himachal where I would spend time getting more clarity and self trust ! - by doing nothing !
I plan to live in silence, meditate, eat healthy, create a more harmonious rythm of life. Hopefully, when i come back after 3 months - I know at least - where to start !
For the first time in my life - I am feeling this immense panic - of doing something before I go crazy or waste my life ! I felt that strange suffocation of not being able to arrive so far ! not sure about how to live life ! be it as simple as to smoke or to not, to eat meat or to not ! There seems no internal ray to guide and external is just frustratingly confusing.
Hence, as my last resort and perhaps my last retreat - I am heading to himalayas -somewhere in a small village in himachal where I would spend time getting more clarity and self trust ! - by doing nothing !
I plan to live in silence, meditate, eat healthy, create a more harmonious rythm of life. Hopefully, when i come back after 3 months - I know at least - where to start !
1 comment:
Wish you all the best that I possibly can.biggest hug :)
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