And life takes a UZQ turn !

Life has taken some really very unexpected turns. I never wanted complexities my life has become quite complicated. I never wanted to get married, marriage seems the only respite. I never wanted to be unfair or hurting to my parents and my family, there seems to be no other way. I never wanted to let go of the silence inside, it seems to be slipping away. I never wanted to deal with lot of social issues and I stand in middle of most of them today !

One of the biggest change that i foresee is my marriage. I never wanted marriage for numerous reasons - it complicates life, it reduces your freedom and it kills love being the 3 top ones among other a dozen. I am in a situation where marriage seems inevitable.

I am unable to imagine how will it change my life. I think i am too naive to consider that it'll not change my life to a very large extent. Only time will tell. But this is a huge shift ! I dont know what would it mean.

I still don't want to get married, the only reason i'd get married is that if it is the only option i have to do other things that i want to do or it seems just ! and in this moment, both are true.

In midst of all these changes, i have decided to keep my focus on the things that matter more. Marriage or anything for that matter is only important if we consider it important. I have decided to defocus myself from most of the problems or conflicts i am facing. I am gonna focus on the larger vision for my life and myself which is - finding purpose of my existence, knowing where do i really belong and making most of life to make this world a better place.

Its been quite a ride, all these years and sometime i look back on my life - i can see it so clearly. I can make a very interesting movie on it ! (btw did i tell ya that i started learning movie making and bought a dslr months back ? )

At the end of the i feel fortunate and grateful for all that has been sent my way by the existence. She knows better than me what I need ! I'll keep this faith and trust in existence and let go !

Love and Peace